melissa

I've recently found out some bad news about one of my closest friends.
If I didn't have this ridiculous fear of the words 'best friend', then yeah, that's what she'd be.
Her doctor told her that she might not make it to Christmas. Sure, we've had scares in the past. We've feared for years that something could happen, that it was possible, but now it's real. Now her doctor has told her that she may only have weeks.
I don't even know what to think, which explains the fact that I might not be making any sense, or may be coming off as an insensitive bitch. I don't know. I do know that I'm scared, and it's hitting me slowly. Of course, I was shocked and cried when I first read it, but every minute it seems more real. I write this here because I don't want people I know to read this and flip out, thinking I'm making this about me. I'm not. I've just never been able to handle death, getting upset about the passing of people I've met only once. This girl has been there for me since we met, she's amazingly kind and would do anything for those she cares about. The thought that she is dying is overwhelming. It's hard to digest. I have no idea what to say to her. And I'm going away to schoolies next week. Ugh I feel like such a shit friend.